Warning	A letter of warning from an old Dad to church raised teenagers, who desire to spread their wings, and become involved with the mainstream of life. I write this letter with the risk of being misunderstood as an old religious fuddy duddy who is not keeping up with the times, but please remember this. Sin is still sin. Temptation is still temptation, and people are still people. As King Solomon said, "That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done, And there is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which it may be said, 'See, this is new'? It has already been in ancient times before US" (Ecc. 1:9-10). This is not talking about modern inventions, customs, trends or fashions, but the heart and condition of human beings. Jesus was known as the "friend of sinners." One of the criticism that was railed against Him from the religious leaders was that He kept company with tax collectors and sinners. "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" (Mat. 9:1 1). His answer was "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. "But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy not sacrifice. 'For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance" (Mat. 9:12-13). As Christians, followers or disciples of Christ what is our response to this? How do we relate to unbelievers? Should our children hang out with unbelievers in the hope of influencing them for God? The scriptures warns us about the children of the World. "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Befial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?... "(2.Cor. 6:14-16). This is obvious that marrying an unbeliever is forbidden in the bible. How about having an unbelieving boyfriend or girlfriend? Well this could lead to marriage or at the least emotional or sexual involvement.   (TOC)
Friendly or Best Friends	This is a difference with being friendly to the unbeliever and becoming their best friends. Some people think that we are all God's children and the unbelievers are just struggling with doubts and we need to love and help them. First we are not all God's children, only God's creation. Christians are called the children of light, the unbelievers are called the children of darkness (see 2.Cor. 6:14.) Even Jesus told the unregenerate religious leaders that they were of their father the devil. (see Jn. 8:44.) Teenagers have a tendency to think that they are immortal and that they can survive almost anything. They will often throw caution to the wind. They are known to have more car accidents than older wiser people, their high auto insurance tells us that. They often become careless, thinking it won't happen to me. I will never get pregnant or get aids, but too often it happens. I can handle drugs, but too often they get hooked. They don't believe they need supervision, but they do. Many of them want freedom without responsibility. "And I saw among the simple, I perceived among the youths, A young man devoid of understanding, Passing along the street near her corner: And he took the path to her house In the twilight, in the evening, In the black and dark night. And there a woman met him, with the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart "(Prov. 7:7-10). But what about our teens who are Christians but are seeking friends outside of the church circle? They might say the following. "How can we influence unbelievers for Jesus if we can't hang out with them. Do you expect us to become monks and nuns and hide ourselves away from the world? Surely our relationship with the people of the world has to be more than standing on a street corner handing out tracts? Didn't Jesus hang out with the sinners?" These question may or may not be valid depending upon the motives of our children. If they have a real burden and compassion for the lost and feel the call of God to reach the unbelieving youngsters, then with the right covering and supervision it might be permissible. On the other hand if our youngsters are just looking to spread their wings and find lots of new friends regardless, then they could be using those arguments to justify their desires. Remember, "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it" (Jer. 17:9). Also youngsters can start out with good and sincere intentions, but fall to the traps of Satan by being drawn into the ungodly culture. "Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits" (1.Cor. 15:33). Stay in an ungodly environment and it will affect you. "But my friends are good, they are nice people. I really like them." says the teenager. "But they are not serving God. Jesus doesn't have a place in their lives. They are still living for the things of the world." says the wise parents. "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world" (1.315-16).   (TOC)
I Can Stand Strong	But Mom and Dad I'M strong they can't influence me, I can make it." "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" (1.Cor. 10:12). As teens want to be popular with their peers, it is easy for them to compromise their faith in order to not be accused of being mean or over religious. As worldly kids have tastes in music and habits or practices that are ungodly, Christians will be tempted to adopt the same tastes and practices, so as not to offend. That unfortunately becomes the beginning of the downward trend. If we really love people more than ourselves, we will confront them with the truth, even at the risk of losing their friendship. On the other hand if we want people to love and accept us, then we are in danger of doing whatever is necessary to keep their friendship and approval. Remember Jesus said, "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take up his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it" (Mat. 10:37-39). Our children are being exposed to tremendous attack by Satan who is using the media, TV. movies, music, schools, colleges and other kids. Many children were doing well until they were put into the public school system. They were then exposed to such bad influences, that parents would probably have a right to sue the public schools for failing to protect their children from destructive forces that are tolerated in that ungodly environment. Children that attend school with no spiritual roots or moral values mingle with our children. Years ago those kind of kids were in the minority in the schools and colleges, but today they appear to be in the majority. If our children have a difficult time with the negative forces at school, how are they going to cope in a secular college when they are no longer living at home?   (TOC)
Final Balance	To conclude what is the final balance for our children? We are in a spiritual battle, but God never intended for us to go it alone. We are called to be part of an army. Our children will not make it on their own, no matter how strong they think they are. They must be surrounded by strong dedicated mature believers. They cannot be allowed to think that if their friend is a Christian the two of them can make it together, especially if one of them is not very strong or committed. In the natural realm if you wanted to improve yourself you need to be around people who are better than you. If you like to play tennis the only way to improve your game is to play with those that are better than you; not worse than you. It's the same in the spiritual realm. Don't spend too much time with unbelievers or uncommitted and weak Christians. Youngsters owe it to themselves to stay with the strong warriors. By all means we don't want to cut ourselves off from the world or the lost. We are told to go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature, not go into all the world and hang out with the unbelievers. If our children's best friends are non-Christians or uncommitted Christians then they are not walking with God. Paul said, "Therefore from now on we regard no one according to the flesh" (1 1.Cor. 5:16). His relationship with people was spiritual not carnal. It is not possible to have a spiritual relationship with unbelievers unless you are ministering to them. Although Jesus was called the friend of sinners and was called to minister to the sinners It was to bring them to repentance. Not just hang out with them an accept them for who they are. "For the Son of man has come to seek and save that which was lost" U. 19: 10). Let us and our children seek to follow in the footsteps of our Savior and not make our own paths. David Walters June 1998